Alcohol Policy in Finland

Finns are chronic drinkers. No one can argue against this fact. Sibelieus, the iconic composer, is noted for his alcoholism as well as his music. When the Russians bombed Helsinki during WW2 he was drunk in his attic with a riffle taking pot-shots at the planes overhead. Alcoholism has been part of Finland for a long time and it will continue as long as the government continues to do fuck-all about it.

Australians are also bad drinkers but not to this extent. I was walking home from my mates house on Saturday night and it was a free-for-all. Almost everyone was stumbling, vomit was on the pavement, many people had just passed out on the street and others were shouting at each other. Sure, this happens at home but I have never seen it in such proportions and Jyväskylä is a city of just 80 000 people.

In Finland it appears that these drunkard types don’t drink to enhance their sociability, rather they do it to create sociability. These people don’t drink to get drunk or tipsy, they drink as hard as they can because anything else is not acceptable. As one drunken bloke said to me on the weekend “Watch me drink, this is how to do it in Finland, hard all the way, there is no other way!!!” The words were nothing new but the sincerity in his voice and eyes was shocking. It seemed like he was trying to prove something, maybe that Australians are pussy drinkers compared to Finns, but his manner was not an attempt at humour.

Surprisingly, the government has no visible campaigns to stop this. I can recall many ads at home to discourage binge drinking, alcoholism, drink driving, youth drinking etc but over here there is nada. Recently the EU forced Finland to lower its taxes on hard liqueur to improve the Economic Zone’s pricing standardisation plan. Recent stats show that Finns are drinking more than ever.

Fuelling conspiracy theories is the fact that drinks with more than 5% alcohol have to be sold from Alko, the government owned retail monopoly. So wine and above are only available from the state Therefore any increases in alcohol consumption adds to the government’s income. The Finnish alcohol policy is reliant on the role its monopoly because the government uses Alko’s profits in three ways. Firstly to run the chain, second to prevent alcoholism and thirdly on healthcare, although taxes also contribute to these expenditures. Without any visible campaigns to reduce alcohol use what is the government’s real goal?

Evidence strongly suggests that five habitual overindulgences use 80% of many western countries healthcare budgets, drinking was one of them (http://www.fastcompany.com/cgi-bin/finder.cgi?query=change%20or%20die). Considering that Finland is a welfare state and spends massive sums of money on healthcare any anti-drinking campaigns, if run properly, are sure to pay themselves back in a matter of years; not to mention the health benefits for Timmo, Mikko and Kimmo.

Such campaigns will provide a precedent considering there are no government campaigns against anything bad for your health. The only campaign I have seen encourages you to pay the free-to-air TV fee. With healthcare a massive budgetary sink, the country having around 10% unemployment and further loosing jobs to nations with cheaper labour any action is better than the current policy of nothing.

Nakedness Part 2

The Finnish naked thing has gone one step further. It is fair enough that blokes sit down and enjoy a hot sauna together, and there is also truth and honour in the fact that nobody looks and everyone is equal when they are naked and sweating as one. You see, the Finns think the sauna is a place where people in the already egalitarian culture become more equal, but this week equality went to a new level.

Last weekend I had a Hapkido party. As with all Finnish parties there is sauna, but this time we also had a swimming pool. I judged my perforated eardrum to be whole again and decided to join in with the sauna and swimming festivities.

When I arrived it was definitely Finnish. There were only a few people talking and the rest of the crew were gorging themselves on chips (from Mega-Pussi bags) and peanuts, oh and did I mention that Finns drink? The girls were in the sauna and the blokes were becoming blokeier as steady quantities of beer slid down the cucumber.

The girls emerged from behind the shaded glass dividing the pool/sauna area from the chips/peanuts/beer area. Grins grew on the faces of the men, not because of the women, but because it was our turn to hit the sauna. It reminded me of Cro-Magnons heading back into the cave, not that I have seen such an event but BBC is actually a time-machine, damn it!

I didn’t go naked because there were a few other guys also wearing shorts. It appears my naked comfort levels are higher around strangers than people I have been wrestling and fighting with for the past four months. It was great inside. Sure enough I saw the penises of my friends but that happens in a crowded box of naked men. People were speaking Finnish and I almost understood; many people had questions for me.

We went for a dip in the pool and generally acted like men. We were making noise and resembled our tree dwelling cousins by trying to fight each other with large foam floaties. All this noise seemed to attract the females because they materialised from behind the shaded glass to see what was going on. They didn’t even flinch seeing their male training partner’s tomfoolery-caused windmills. For me, this was strange.

I can imagine the general awkwardness such an event would cause back home. Although Heathers part has been flaunted like the new model Commodore, with everyone else there would be a short period of discomfort between the actor and the audience, not so here.

For the next few hours women and men shared the sauna. More men became clad and all women were wearing bikinis but the majority of the men were starkers. This is definitely a culture shock considering that when I change into my wettie before a surf most of my mates complain about seeing my arse.

Too much sun

When I first arrived in Finland I was happy to see a metre of snow and experience just 5 hours of light a day. However, the darkness can make you a little cranky and the cold carries a degree of annoyance because you cannot just step outside and do your thing like we do in Oz. Before you take on the streets you must don a jacket, beanie, scarf, thermals, gloves, extra socks and decent boots, by the time you get to your destination your nostrils have frozen and your mouth has forgotten to how to move. I used to walk to work in the darkness, thaw my nose and mouth during the day and then walk home in the 4pm night. Although this sounds bad to many, I enjoyed the darkness and chilliness of the northern land and I hope to see it again one day.

Now we have a different story. The 5 hours of light are now 5 hours of darkness. Every morning the light enters my room at 4am and, by reflex, it makes me think that was out the night before drinking. I dont need the lights in my office and when I go home the sun is there, its always there. It sets at about 11pm and in late June it will not set.

Night and dark are our mates. The sun is like the eternally happy and optimistic friend that just doesnt know when to shut-up or piss off. The dark is that suicidal friend who loves metal, heavy industry and all things in black (fluorescent black if its available). Both of them have their pros and cons but right now I want blacky.

Your mate

Sun Boy

Evil

I am definitely not an evil person or wish darkness on anyone. My partial Buddhist beliefs are far from this style of thought. However funny is funny and these posters would be good around any office.

http://despair.com/indem.html

AB

ANZAC Day in Finland

ANZAC Day is not one of the official flag flying days in Finland. Instead they proudly hoist their flags over every apartment building on days like Midsummer fest, the day when the sun refuses to set (further north it doesnt set for 3 months in summer). Being partially pagan they fly their flag on various other days that now represent drinking but once represented something special they have all forgotten (probably drinking).

On the 25th of April 2005 I was on my way home from work when I noticed a guy strapping on footy boots. I stopped, had a quick chat and found out he was a member of the Jyväskylä Rugby Team (the national champions). So I rode home, changed into my boardies, slapped on a shirt and headed to rugby training.

Rugby training was fun. I got to run around like a crazy Aussie pretending I knew what to do. I like watching rugby and have played league before but rugby (union) is much more complex and strategic than the other code, which is often called poor mans rugby.

I was doing quite well and in the touch game and I even scored a few tries. My passing was flat and accurate and I wasnt afraid of hitting up the big guys. In one particular move, I got the ball and brought it forward. I dodged a big, doofy looking bald Finn and heading toward the try line when two more defenders approached from either side. Knowing this was only touch and my run would end here I decided to softly plough through the smaller guy. I dropped my shoulder and gave him a little push to slightly represent the real game. I was expecting the soft and warm feeling of a half-hearted rugby tackle but instead I heard the awful sound of the side of my head and most of my ear clashing with his forehead. The CLANGING sound was shortly followed by a high pitched ringing in my ear and later I had an eternal drone much like a jumbo jet flying high over head.

After I realised I was fine I looked at the other bloke. He had a grimace look on his face was rubbing his forehead. I went up to him and said Sorry Mate in the most Aussie accent I could throw. He was Rob, the only Kiwi in Jyväskylä.

I have seen a nurse, a doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist all for 4 euros. This is the perk of living in a welfare state. It turns out I perforated my ear drum playing rugby on ANZAC Day, in Finland, because of a head clash with the only New Zealander in Jyväskylä. After training Rob and I had an ANZAC Day beer and shared stories about travelling through the various Kingdoms of Europe.

AB